Man and Neurosis, Treatment of Neurotic DisorderJune 27, 2021
According to Karen Horney, neurosis occurs as a result of efforts to control and cope with interpersonal relationships in neurotic individuals (Koçak, S., trans., 2003).
Although such strategies are used by ordinary people and neurotic people, neurotic types use the one close to them throughout their life and in every field. According to Horney (1991), the main difference between healthy efforts and neurotic impulses lies in the forces that motivate them. Healthy efforts result from an inherent human tendency to develop existing potentials. Basic anxiety arises from the parent-child relationship in childhood (Schultz, 2007, ch. 14).
According to Horney, we encounter the fact that the people around a child are so caught up in their own neuroses that they cannot love the child and accept that he cannot be an individual on his own. The attitudes and behaviors of these people towards the child are determined by their own neurotic needs and reactions. As a result, the child cannot develop a sense of belonging. Instead, it develops a deep sense of insecurity and vague anxiety, which Horney calls basic anxiety (Budak, S., trans., 1991). In order to cope with this anxiety and insecurity, children develop various behavioral strategies and these strategies become an invariable part of their personality (Schultz, 2007, chap. 14).
Neuroses often appear in conflicts, but neurotics reject these conflicts. To understand these conflicts, some signs of conflicts are observed. These observed symptoms are fatigue and inconsistency. These symptoms can also be seen in a healthy person, but they are observed frequently and at high levels in neurotics. For example, it is a sign of inconsistency that a mother who often says she loves her children forgets her children’s birthday. The main source of conflicts is the conflict between our selfish impulses and our prohibitive consciousness. So desires and fears collide. Conflicts emerge from childhood when the child tries to cope with the disturbing stimuli around him (Budak, S., trans., 1991). These children use these strategies when communicating with individuals outside the family, and these behavior patterns continue when they become adults. In fact, these neurotic individuals have learned that social relationships are a source of anxiety because these strategies reduce anxiety in the short term (Burger, 2006, ch. 5). Karen Horney has gathered these coping strategies of the child under 3 headings:
People oriented type (submissive, docile type)
These people feel the need for affection and validation. They are in search of a friend, lover and partner. In every quest there is a desire for intimacy and belonging. These are compulsive needs. Although their search for compassion may seem normal, their search is actually an insatiable urge to get rid of despair and trust. They are constantly chasing after these impulses. In the face of their altruistic behavior, they do not ask for much from others, they become people who blindly give what others expect of them. They blame themselves in every event and are always in the potential to apologize (Budak, S., trans., 1991).
The neurotic’s needs and expectations for the people around him push him to develop a greater dependence on these people. The person desires love, protection, support, tenderness, closeness. When neurotic addicts face the fear of losing the person in front of them, they look for the fault in themselves. Therefore, he thinks that he should be more loving and understanding. The neurotic person should be able to endure everything, like everyone, love their mother, father, country or never offend anyone, and always be relaxed and calm. He should never be tired or sick. His thoughts are so rigid (Budak, S., trans., 1991).
The person to whom he is unconditionally devoted should never leave him, the neurotic should do everything for it because he is helpless and weak alone. They belittle their own qualities and develop a sense of inferiority. They always think someone else is stronger than themselves. The self-esteem of people-oriented neurotics rises or falls according to their approval or disapproval of others. For the neurotic, love appears to be the only goal he wants to achieve in life. His need for love and his endless need to receive it from someone will never go away unless their conflict is truly resolved. For him, to love means to lose oneself in feelings of enslavement to a greater or lesser extent, to sink into these feelings, to integrate with another person and melt into him, to find a unity that he cannot find in himself. Since love has a unique value for this type, being lovable takes the first place among the factors that determine self-evaluation (Budak, S., trans., 1991).
Aggressive type (against people)
The aggressive type who tends towards people believes that others are the enemy. This aggressive type always tries to be strong, or at least look that way. Being superior to others and having power